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sharron

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Posted on Sunday, July 21, 2002 - 07:47 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hello,
I am confused and was wondering if a person feels ready to have sex, should they wait?
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Matt Brown

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Posted on Monday, July 22, 2002 - 10:15 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 21, male, and thought I'd give my 2 cents. I believe you should always try to wait, if only so you feel more comfortable about it. If there's any doubt, I would wait. That said, if you think you're at the point where you're ready, and there is no more doubt, then by all means, enjoy it and make it special... and most importantly, use protection.
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Robyn

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Posted on Monday, July 29, 2002 - 04:40 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If you are confused....don't do it. I am 22 now, and I saved mine for the man I married and I can tell you that is special. If I look back and put myself in your situation, at age 16, I was dating a loser. Of course I didn't think that at the time, but I am so glad I didn't have sex with him.
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ChrisBollweg

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Posted on Thursday, December 05, 2002 - 02:51 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Author Camille Paglia has some interesting writings about American's ideas about sex among young people, she is a very clear thinking woman whom I respect. Her ideas expand beyond the conventional conservative bias against sex outside of marriage. She has an attitude that sex is a healthy expression of being alive, but young people, in a way are held in censure by our society. Real knowledge about safety and open comunication with some one you trust (probably an adult) is important so you get reliable information don't suffer from unwanted pregnacy etc. Bon Voyage.
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Anonymous

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Posted on Friday, December 06, 2002 - 08:44 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Although i think it depends on the person, i am 16 (girl) and i know i'm not ready to have sex. there's heaps of pressure from guys and even from friends to have sex especially if people you know already have, but i don't see the point. Cos if you're 16 you're probly doing it not cos you love the person, but so that you've had sex. Im sure its different for every person and some people may b ready when they're 16, but i don't think i have the maturity to deal with the consequences, or the even the confidence to be comfortable having sex with a guy. I'd definitely have to go out with him for a long time and know that it was right and i loved him before i would have sex with him.
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Anonymous

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Posted on Saturday, December 07, 2002 - 04:43 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

guys guys guys be careful... don't let a girl take advantage of you if they are under 18 you can get a statutory rape charge which means that they consented to it but they were the underage party this is extremely risky buisness I know she might look really cute but the way the law is right now means we can only look.
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Anonymous

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Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 10:09 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Your viginity is the most precious gift you can give to your husband. I wish I could have given that to my husband..... you see I was raped from the time I was 9 until I was 12. When I started dating and got married I thought sex was supposed to fix any problem. If I argued with my husband, I thought sex would fix it. If he had a bad day at work I'd try to have sex. If he didn't want to have sex I thought I wasn't a good wife! Guess what? I am a good wife. It has taken me a long time to understand that I am me for better or worse. Regardless of if I give my body up. To anyone who thinks they are ready for sex, think about it long and hard. Remember it is only you that has to face yourself the morning after. If you decide to have sex, get plenty of protection. You don't want aids or babies at that young age.
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Betty

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Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 03:15 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

My personal opinion, I do not think that the virginity is the most precious gift you can give your husband.
I think the most precious gift is love and honesty.

I had my first sex when I was 15. Now I think I was a little too young. But regartless, I would not change it. I do not regret anything what I did. I was ready and loved the boy.
The only thing what made me sad, that I couldn't talk with my mother about it. In our family we didn't talk about sex.
My addvice. If you really love the boy/man and he loves you, go ahead and do it.
But first talk with you mom about it. Ask her what she thinks. Talk about protection. REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT IMPORTANT.
Talk about you fears and hopes.
Your mom understands you.
If you cannot talk to your mom. Maybe you have a older sister or friend, aunt. cousin.
Well I wish you have fun
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My Advice

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Posted on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 - 03:34 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Personally, I was 18 1/2 before I decided to have sex. It was with someone very special to me, unlike anyone I had ever met. We intend to get married. He was my first and he'll be my last. Be smart if you're going to be sexually active and, of course, keep the number of partners to a minimum. You're not a free-for-all. If you want to explore sex, do it with one person exclusively and, if nothing else, learn together.
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patty kake

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Posted on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 09:26 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If you ask 100 people if you should have sex at 16 you'll get 100 different answers. My advise to you is this; when you are 16 you feel mature but you are not, surely not as mature as you'll be at 18, 20, 25 ect. If you delay having sex with this person who you will probably not be dating any longer in the distant future, you won't look back and say "I wish I had had sex with him", however you could likely say "if only I hadn't had sex with him"! There can be heavy duty consequences to having sex at age 16, and they can all have heavy emotional prices that you might pay for a long time. Wait. You won't regret that decision! Get experience getting to know how to relate to guys and really establishing sound convictions about what you want from a relationship. Too often it becomes about giving guys what they want.
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Anonymous

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Posted on Tuesday, December 24, 2002 - 12:01 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am 19 years old and have been with my baby for almost a year and a half. I am a virgin and he is also a 21 year old virgin. We love each other very much and feel no need to pressure one another to make love anytime soon. In other words I know if I dont "give it up" tonight he will not leave me. Ladies and men if your partner really does love you he will not pressure you and supprt your decision to wait a little bit longer. And if he doesnt want to wait he's not worth the wait. Yes you may not marry the man you give your virginity to butI believe you should hold yourself in high enough self esteem to know that is a very special gift you can only give 1 person.
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Anonymous

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Posted on Thursday, January 02, 2003 - 04:57 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I have lost my virginity, I cried about it for a while and then I knew that he would still love me even we hadn't. I kind of wanted to, and he did to. I was just worried about having a kid. I don't like kids. He told me he loved me a lot, and not to worry. I know its ok now, and I know I am not pregnent.
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Todd Johnson (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, January 07, 2003 - 02:37 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hey, I was just curious if anybody in here was a believer in our Lord, Jesus Christ. 'Cause if you are, then you know that unless your married it is considered a sin to have sex. Now, if your 16 and married then by all means, go to town with each other, but please, i pray that you wait until marriage.
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:-( (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Thursday, January 09, 2003 - 04:02 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I lost my virginity at 21 to my bf that time. he pressured me, and kind of fooled me into it, although we loved each other. we were together for more than three years. i am regretting it, and i will forever regret it. i should have saved it for the man i will marry. sex makes you curious, it tempts you. but after the first time, you can NEVER reverse it. i feel so stupid. i should have listened to older people.
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kbarbaro (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2003 - 01:43 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex is the greatest thing in the world! Both hubby and I saved ourselves for our wedding night, and it just keeps getting better. We've been married for 15 happy years, and unlike friends we talk to, we don't have regrets, or aren't messed up mentally when going to bed with each other. And it's a comfort to each other knowing we are not being compared to "whatever past partner" we may have had. It's something special he and I share alone...no one else is intruding in our bed! I know lots of people who regret sexual activity before marriage, but I have NEVER met anyone who regretted waiting for their wedding night. Besides all that, I as a woman never felt like hubby wanted to take advantage of my body before we married. I knew he loved me, liked me, and respected me. That alone is worth more than gold. God created sex for pleasure...and boy is it when done within the right guidelines.
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Grown-ups wait (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 08:19 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Having sex seems like a grown-up thing to do. That couldn't be farther from the truth.

From personal experience, no sex leads to faster maturity. I'm by far the most successful, grown-up of my buddies. I'm also the only one that waited until after high school and got married. My personal $0.02.
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Anonymous (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, January 21, 2003 - 12:45 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Some men who don't want to have sex before marriage,are really screwed up sexually and want to avoid sex period forever. But you don't find that out until after you get married. It's all so tricky. Trust your own intuition, not someone else's rules.
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please by all means wait!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, January 21, 2003 - 09:50 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex before being really ready will definitely have its consequences. It messes with your head and sometimes has a delayed emotional and mental painful effect years later. I wasn't ready but was easily pressured into it at age 16. I didn't have a lot of self worth back then and plus the guy I was dating was a loser. When I was a child 3yr-6yrs old I was sexually abused. There is no wonder I had a negative self image.

I am now 22yrs old a senior in college and have made love with my boyfriend, Angel even though I still think we were not clearly all that ready, he was a virgin and I was still dealing with sexual crap from the past.. and boy is that hard to clean that mess! Angel and I are not currently making love because I felt I needed to heal myself in that area.

I have been dealing with severe depression, eating disorder not otherwise specified, anxiety(social phobia, agoraphobia, PTSD, OCD)chronic illnesses such as Bladder infections and a little known about STD that can lead to infertility called urea plasma uryleticum (can be cured with a week of antibiotic)which I got from that loser and we even used condoms! GEESHHHHHHHH! this is enough stress and crep to deter me if I had a crystal ball to see my not so distant future.

Angel and I both want to be true Christians. We are looking forward to the day when we will get married..2yrs! In a sense it's like born-again virgins~ we love and respect eachother far more for our determination and devotion to eachother and commitments. As for the sex at 16 bit, I would advise any 16 or person out of marriage to wait! For your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual sake! I believe that you need to healthy in all these areas, not just one. Also so their is no garbage or excess baggage when you come into a relationshp with a person you really do love and want to spend the rest of your life with:-)
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Anti-Society (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Monday, January 27, 2003 - 05:09 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Society has become more and more open to sex and sexual relations, however sex is still made out to be this sacred act which only people of certain ages and stages in life should have. The fact of the matter is... sex is what you make of it. yes, sex can be very special and important. However, sex is also healthy and can be lots of fun. As long as you are safe and you are prepared to deal with any consequences that come with sex, go for it. I am 18 years old and have had sex with four people already. Sex has allowed me to express myself and also explore a side that I had never unleashed before. It is my perogative to have sex before marriage. Look at it this way... do you really want to marry someone who is bad in bed? 50% of all marriages fail. About 1/3 of those failed marriages are caused by sex and physical aspects of a relationship.
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James Vanderbeek (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Thursday, February 06, 2003 - 08:09 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Think about it this way. You may never get the chance. Who wants to be a 42 year old virgin. That is pathetic. I am not saying go and screw as many ppl as you want. But explore and try. I dont think you should have sex in high school though. High school is alreay hard enough with all the peer pressures that come with it. You will be the strong one to wait till college or whatever. But keep your partners limited, nobody wants to be with someone who screwed 15 people. I know I could never get over it. So what if it is a sin to have sex before married, i guess fooling around isnt a sin then. You can look at it any way you want. Everybody sins in one way or another, nobody is perfect. I think everybody should try it, but find somebody special that your in love with. It will mean so much more. A one night stand isnt a big loss, just use protection and say you were drunk. Don't make a habbit of it. Even porn stars use protection these days. Sex is fun, it feels great, it brings you and your partner closer and it releives stress. Just be prepared, if you dont want to be a whore (male or female) dont go screwing everybody. It isnt going to make u popular or whatever. Wait at least 3 months into a relationship, and build a trust. Now lets get it on with the love making.
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anonymous (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 03:06 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Unbelievable! 42 year old virgins? 1/3 of marriages fail because of sex? Where do these statistics come from, out of thin air! Sex is just that sex! Animals do it, people do it. What differentiates us from animals is that we can have morals. Do you really want to be an animal and go around having sex with every next person that comes along? God gave us something special in "Making Love" and it should just be that...."Love" it is a pure and beautiful form of expression between two people who are completely and totally devoted and in love with each other for life! Sex can be cheap, meaningless, hollow and in hindsight a mistake. Making Love with one partner that you save yourself for is the most beautiful and intimate experience you will probably ever share. Don't just give that wonderful thing away.... Wait! By all means Wait! You won't regret it!
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leeia Anya (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 06:00 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I first had sex when I was 16. I loved the boy, and I have loved everyone I have been with since then. To me, sex is a healthy physical expression of love, and I have never regretted the decisions I have made. There is a lot of guilt attached to sex in our society. As long as you feel good about it, and don't do it or not do it in response to other people's opinions, there is nothing wrong with it. So, examine your heart, and follow what you find there.
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Steve (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, February 19, 2003 - 12:16 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am a relatively good Christian guy and I waited until I was 25 (curiosty finally got the better of me.) And I am telling you, although sex was great, I am not longer with the woman who was my first. I am now 27, and I wish I had waited until I was truly in love because now whomever I marry, I will have to tell about this.

The short term fun (and I will admit, it is a lot) is not worth the long term problems.
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gerald (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Sunday, February 23, 2003 - 11:10 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Let the hind sight of others be your guide into the future:-)
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(Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 12:01 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I waited till I was in love to have sex for the first time so I have no regrets, make the first time special before you go nuts. Have it be someone you will freindly with forever.
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(Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 10:27 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I've had a flirting relationship with a friend of mine that I work with. We became really good friends and now things have become more. The only problem is, he's 7yrs older than me. I'm 17 and he's 24. He thinks I've already lost my virginity but he might have got the hint. My friends are telling me that it's going to be a mistake, but I think I'm actually ready. I know a relationship won't come out of it at this time, but I really like him and I know he likes me too. It's a big decision and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Should I wait or you go along with what happens? It seems like it would be okay since so many people have done it before they were my age. I really like him, but what if I would get pregnant?
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anonymous (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 09:09 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i'm 16 (girl) and have had sex with my boyfriend. i waited more than 3 1/2 months. we didn't tell each other that we loved each other till bout 3 months, which means a lot. all my other bf's said it within a week or two. and it meant nothing to me. the guy i'm seein now, was my first and we're still together. we couldn't be happier. and if anythin, it brought us closer together. although, my mom was pretty upset and a bit hurt when she found out...she understands. my advice...talk to your mom!!! and dont rush anythin. and ALWAYS use protection. if you're not ready, dont do it. if he leaves u cuz u wont sleep wit him, he's not the right guy for you anyway. trust me. dont do it cuz everyone else is. make sure it means something to you.
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rach (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 09:18 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I lost it when i was 13.. I have regrets about it sometimes.. not about losing it, but to whom i did.. i wish i had lost it to the 2nd man i had sex with, who is now my fiance.
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Denise Bardell

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Posted on Thursday, March 06, 2003 - 12:50 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, I can't say, don't have sex at age 16 ... I did, and like so many others, am not with that person now...thank God! Just carefully think about what you're going to do and WHO you're going to do it with. Sex is way too often a given in any relationship and it seems that the older you get, the more it's "expected" in a relationship. Sure, I have some regrets of my past, but not all due to my sexual choices/activities. As for those God-fearing people that have posted here about morals and sins, etc...yes, it's true, it is a very special moment shared between two people for the first time. God is forgiving, if you ask for it. Now, that doesn't mean you should run out and have sex with every Dick and Jane that you run into or that you "like", but make sure there is some strong connection with that person before you do, and as others posted, it will bring you closer together and form a stronger bond. I have 2 children with different dads, I do not regret that at all. What I regret is that my oldest son's dad and I couldn't work out our differences. He was the love of my life and I will NEVER regret having his child. But, c'est la vie. Anyway, back to the main topic here...to have or not to have? The choice is yours and yours alone, just be smart about it. Think about more than the temporary physical pleasure you will experience. Also, for women, the first time isn't that enjoyable other than the bond that you form with your partner. Ok, I'm done rambling now. lol
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sheryl buchanan (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Friday, March 07, 2003 - 07:39 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am 18 yrs. old now, and I'm a freshman in college. I started having sex 1 month b/f I turned 17. I was very curious and in love,too. I am still with the guy now and we plan to get married in the future (GOD WILLING)! Even though I love him, and we are still together. I wish that I had waited until we were married b/c it's the right thing to do, and it will be more special when that time arrives. Sex was very over-rated where I came from, and I was curious; I admit. My advice to a 16 yr. old is: No one can tell you what to do when you are going to do it anyway. So be careful if you are, but don't do it for reasons that are not your own. Be yourself, and weigh all options for the future. Your virginity is something that you can never get back. Don't let others influence you. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON!
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brittany (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 03:26 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 15 (girl) and i wuz wondering, if it would be wrong 4 me to have sex w/ my 17 yr. olde b/f? i love him w/ all my heart and he loves me too..( well.. he always tells me that he love and cares about me..) we dont attend the same skool and i'm always scared of him cheating on me 2. but, i just dont know wut to do..he always says he loves me but, i never know when hes telling the truth or lieing..but, u would think that if he really loved me he would always tell me the truth...i love him alot but, i dont want to do anything that i might end up regretting, PLEASE HELP ME!! answer my questions please.
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wayne (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, March 18, 2003 - 01:41 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

My father once told me that you only have one chance to make a first impression. This advice has gotton me through 65 yrs. of life with no regrets. My wife and I were the first for each other and after 45 yrs. I still admire her for waiting for me.
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Rob (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 03:54 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Beware!! Don't have sex unless you really really really know the person well (whether you are marrying the person or not). It's not worth contracting genital warts.
1/3 of sexually active adults have at least one strain of the HPV virus (genital warts). There are more than 70 strains. Some strains of HPV can increase a woman's risk of uteran cancer. You can get genital warts regardless of whether, or not you wear a condom. The virus lives in the skin, is spread by skin to skin contact and is highly contagious. I know this from personal experience because I got warts even though I always wore a condom.
I'm waiting for a cure before I have sex again. Celebacy is the only way to make sure not to spread it or to contract another strain. Just keep in mind that many people won't ever know they have the virus. Many people lie about their sexual history. Some people have the virus and never get visible warts. It was almost 6 months after my last sexual contact before I noticed visible warts.
Good luck.
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Lauren (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 05:43 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am 14 and I lost my virginity a couple of months ago. My boyfriend and I use condoms, but my period is late. I took 3 pregnancy tests and they were all negative, but then how come I am not getting my period?

Please help!!!!
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Guest Guest (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 08:32 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

you aren't getting your period because when you are 14 your period is always screwed up. it is generaly messed up for about 2 years since your first period. if you are really concerned then just go to the doctors and check and they wont tell your parents, just to be sure, but i am sure you are fine.
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upforfun03 (Unregistered Guest)

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Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 08:04 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'd say, and what I tell my kids, and what I wish someone had told me is... are you ready to be a parent, because, it only takes once... and are you ready to die for it, because it only takes once... and if this is all they have to give and they never talk to you after tomorrow, is that okay? because a lot of times, that's how it is... and I tell them that every guy I dated in high school, I have no idea where they are now. Every guy I was friends with in high school, we're still friends now. So, if this is someone you care about and want to have in your life long term, just stay friends. my kids are great. so maybe its working.
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blah

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Posted on Friday, April 04, 2003 - 05:50 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It's funny how in this modern, western society people still think virginity is the most important thing you can "give" to your man. That's great if you live in certain stone age cultures and believe yourself to be someone else's property. Being a 27 year old virgin is ridiculous. It just means you are a social retard and cannot get laid (or you are awful in bed). You should always be careful before sleeping with someone, especially irresponsible 16 year-old "men" who depend on their parents for everything financially. Sex has nothing to do with religion, unless you are an idiot fanatic. Sex has everything to do with procreation, which is something you must remember if you want to engage in it. If you get pregnant as a teenager, it can really get in the way of future opportunities (including better sex with more interesting people). Don't be afraid of sex, but always use protection. And don't ever listen to16 year old boys about sex, or weirdo christian fanatics for that matter. Their advice is useless. If you have doubts, or he's an idiot, wait.
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anonymous

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Posted on Saturday, April 05, 2003 - 09:04 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Love and honesty is important. But waiting is equally important. I did not wait. I was 18, and thought I loved the man. I got pregnant and lost it because he was not a good guy and he ended up hitting me. I thought all relationships were based on sex. With all the diseases, pregnancy, and emotions involved, I strongly urge you to wait. I think self respect and sex go hand in hand. My 15 year old and I talk about sex, and I urge her to wait as well. I think if you are saved or not it is important to wait. Though now that I am saved I think it is Critical. You only have the chance for that special time once.
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Janice

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Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 03:05 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

hi i am 17. when i was 11 i had sex for the first time if i could tell any one about the mistake i made and i was trying to give advice, i would tell them to wait until they were married. i have recently got ingaged to my boyfriend. we have been together for 3 years,but he is a virgin. he hates the fact that we won't be able to share the same first pleasure on our wedding night. it doies make our relationship hard sometimes. there will always be a lack of trust in our relationships.
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Daisy

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Posted on Saturday, April 26, 2003 - 12:25 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

GOOD LORD I JUST READ MY LIFE!!!!! that annonymose 16 yr old girl who wrote that waiting 3 months before saying i love you and waith 3 1/2 months before having sex! OMG that was totally how my realationship went! Im still with the guy, and I love him to death, but Im 17 with a 15month old son. Im an unemployed high school drop out and he refuses to work at all! Be careful hunny.
AND ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. it only takes once to get anything, condoms or not. I know b/c i have only been with 1 guy and I have genital warts. BE CAREFUL, it doesnt matter how well you know sombody. As a matter of fact a report was out last year we had a blood drive at our school, and only seniors were allowed to do it, but out of all of the seniors who gave blood 48% of them had unknowing contracted HIV. Not an STD, but HIV. My class, its hard to comprhend that nearly 1/2 of my friends prolly have HIV. think about that before you have sex with anyone. all health department in the us have to do FREE std check whenever you want, so ok, you think your b/f or g/f love you? ask them to go there and get checked for you, it only takes 10 days to get the results. its your life do what you want, alls im sayin is that if your smart, youll take my advice. and aqlso I would like to add that HIV may not show up on a std screening if you have contracted it within the past 3 months. PLEASE BE CAREFUL, and If your a mother be twice as carful.
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shelby

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Posted on Friday, May 02, 2003 - 04:05 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Recently, a study came out that spermicides that are used on many condoms can actually INCREASE the risk of STDs! Just a point....
BTW, I was one of those 27-year-old virgins whom someone called a "social retard". Thanks much! NOT! Think of how different the world would be if people DID wait until marriage! Think of the reduction in STDs, AIDS, abortions (we wouldn't have a debate on this issue because it would be nearly a non-issue!), unwanted pregnancy, etc. etc. etc. Think of how many of those broken marriages happen because of unfaithful sex. Sex in and of itself is not something that will break up a marriage. Nor is it something to be used to determine the success of a relationship. It changes with time and circumstance. As for the risk of pregnancy, even protection is not a guarantee. My sister conceived on the Pill and my cousin conceived with two forms of contraception used at the same time. A baby has the right to have MARRIED parents who are old enough and mature enough to give it the love it needs and deserves. Like so many said here, even though you feel old, you will look back to when you were 16 and be amazed at how much growing up you still had ahead of you. Don't do something you may regret. Some do, some don't -- but is it worth the risks? Imagine the trust your future spouse can have in your loyalty if you wait for him!!! My life would be SOOO different if I hadn't waited!
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listentome

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Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 09:53 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Don't have sex because if you have to ask then you're not ready. i had sex when i was 15, and i do not regret it even though i'm not with that person now, because i loved him and WANTED to do it WITHOUT DOUBT. i used protection and it was a good experience. if i had any doubt in my mind, however, i would definitely not do it. you are only ready if you don't even have to ask yourself that.
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andy

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Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 05:25 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

SEX WHEN YOUR'RE 16 ?..WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL,WHEN NATURE SAYS YOU'RE READY THEN YOU'RE READY.FOR ME SEX AT THAT AGE WAS UTTERLY AMAZING OF COURSE I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN..I DID'NT CARE WHAT THE PREACHER OR THE POLITICIAN WAS SAYING ..SO THEREFORE NO GUILT = FREEDOM TO BE HAPPY WITH MY CHOICES.
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DEBBIE

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Posted on Thursday, May 29, 2003 - 11:14 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I WAS 18 AND THE GUY THAT I HAD SEX WITH WAS SOMEONE I TRULY LOVED AND CARED ABOUT. WE WAITED FOR 5 MONTHS. AND HE HAS A GREAT DEAL OF RESPECT FOR ME BECAUSE OF THAT. OF COURSE I AM 29 NOW AND STILL HAVE NO REGRETS. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS WAIT. SIXTEEN IS WAY TO YOUNG, THE GUYS OUT THERE NOW A DAYS ARE JUST WANTING ONE THING. WAIT TILL YOU MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL. TRUST ME ONCE YOU DO IT, WITH SOMEONE QUICKLY AND IT DOESN'T MEAN TO MUCH. YOU WON'T HEAR THE END OF IT BECAUSE HE WILL TELL ALL HIS FRIENDS AND THEN THEY WILL TELL THEIRS. MAKE THEM WAIT THEY HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOU IF YOU DO.
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TRUST ME

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Posted on Thursday, June 05, 2003 - 01:23 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I AM A 22 YEAR OLD FEMALE. I AM CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ENGAGED. MY ADVICE TO A 16 YEAR OLD WHO WANTS TO KNOW WETHER OR NOT TO HAVE SEX WOULD BE "NO!' LIKE SOMEONE ELSE POSTED ON HERE "IF U HAVE TO ASK IF YOU SHOULD, THEN U AREN'T READY!!" ESPECIALLY ASKING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET. I WOULD TALK TO MY MOM IF POSSIBLE. JUST THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES. SEX MIGHT SEEM FUN AND INTERESTING BUT IT TRULY IS SOMETHING THAT MUST BE WELL THOUGHT AND PLANNED AND TAKEN WITH MUCH RESPONSIBILITY AND MATURITY. (AND REMEMBER MOST BOYS MATURE SLOWER THAN GIRLS SO MOST LIKEY THEY ARE CLUE-LESS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF SEX) ALL I'M SAYING IS...BE SMARTER! WAIT..IT WON'T KILL YOU.. IF SEX IS A SIN THEN MASTURBATION MUST BE LESS OF A SIN. TRY IT!! ATLEAST U WON'T CONTRACT A DISEASE OR BE STUCK WITH A CHILD THAT WASN'T PLANNED.IT FEELS GREAT AND MIGHT CALM ALL YOUR YOUNG TEENAGE HORMONES DOWN.U ARE ALMOST ALWAYS PROMISED PLEASURE AND AN ORGASM, UNLIKE WITH MEN OR 16 YEAR OLD BOYS WHO DON'T HAVE A CLUE!! PRACTICE FOR WHEN U ARE OLDER AND TRULY IN LOVE WITH THE "MAN OF YOUR DREAMS". I DID IT WHEN I WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN YOU. SINCE U ARE TOO YOUNG TO BUY A TOY,GRAB A TEDDY BEAR,BRUSH, OR ANY APPEALING THINGIE.I THINK THAT'S BEST BECAUSE A BRUSH CAN BE SO DISCREET AND EVEN YOUR OWN MOTHER WON'T SUSPECT ANYTHING!! AND IF SHE DOES I'M SURE SHE WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER TO KNOW U ARE NOT ACTUALLY HAVING SEX. HEY IT'S MUCH SAFER. BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL NOT LIKE THE FEELING OF REGRETING SEX LATER ON.AS FAR AS MASTURBATION, WELL U NEVER REGRET THAT!!GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BODY AND WHAT PLEASES IT ONLY MAKES U A BETTER LOVER ANY WAY FOR THE FUTURE. AND IF U MUST HAVE SEX, GO TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD OR A CLINIC FIRST. MOST ARE FREE AND WON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS. TALK WITH A GYNO ABOUT SEX AND LET THE DR. EDUCATE YOU FIRST. BE SAFE AND NEVER DO ANYTHING YOU MAY REGRETE LATER.
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Pounce

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Posted on Friday, June 20, 2003 - 01:08 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex is great. But like many people have said you are only 16. Now I am not going to tell you that you would regret having sex at this age, but I will say that many people have regretted it. I know I have changed since i was sixteen a whole lot. It is quite young to make such a big decision. You have so much else to do in your life and once you have sex, you aren't going to just stop having sex. (Not that you will be a raging horny slut) I also think it is sad when people repress their sexuallity. That is one of the worst things you can do. My Advice: ORAL SEX. Oral sex will help you to explore your sexuallity without the need for regret. If you aren't sure that you are ready for sex, but think you might be, that is a good place to start. If your boyfriend still complains after a good blowjob, then he is a complete Idiot. As a teenage boy, a blowjob is much better than nothing. It is also a way to show your true feelings. If you aren't sure you will always really love this guy and never regret it, than you don't have as much to lose emotionally, spiritually, or physically. However you still get to show him that you care for him. Start there and it will help you know if you really are ready for sex. Just my 2 cents.
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Jack

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Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 01:43 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex and love are mutually exclusive actions. Love transcends sex. Sex and love go together like a rice cooker and a soccer ball. If your a 16 year old girl don't let anyone coerce you into having sex. Do it when YOU are ready. Be your own person. I'm 35 and don't regret having sex at 16, only because, I didn't get herpes, and the girl didn't get pregnant. However, I would not do it again knowing the risks I luckily avoided.
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B. E. Wise

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Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 05:16 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You have heard:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I? I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost.

"Enter through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and spacious and broad is the way that leads away to destruction, and many are those who are entering it." Matthew 7:13

Both Secular(non-religious) and religious sources acknowledge that if everyone is doing it, DON'T. Most people aren't all that wise. Look at health and exercise - do most people eat right and get regular exercise, or are we becoming an overweight nation with many health concerns? Look at education - do most people strive to study and learn to the best of their abilities or do they aim to just get by and learn enought to pass? Look at work - do most people work hard for their goals or do they seek the easy way out and accept mediocrity?

Today, with regard to sex, which is the way of the many? Casual sex before marriage or sex only within the commitment of marriage? Why do you think this is, perhaps because one way requires more discipline and self-possesion, as in the other examples?

Many have argued that sex is a form of self-expression. Therefore, to wait is to deny self-expression. I argue that sex is a form of self-possession. To wait, despite physical and peer pressure, is to truly possess yourself. You are yours to give, and your entire body, mind, and soul should not be united with another carelessly.

Psalm 119, verse 105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
Compared to Proverbs 4:19 "The way of the wicked is as deep darkness; they do not know at what they stumble"

Do you walk in light of wisdom of God or do you stumble in darkness and not know why you stumble?

It has been said, "Always use protection!" Though you may protect your physical body from the phyisical dangers of sex with a condom, the pill, pre-sex medical examinations, and the like; with what will you protect your heart, mind, and soul from the dangers of sex to those parts of your being? Read some of the posts again and ask yourself do I want to feel this way about myself? Are the few who seem to have escaped negative emotional or spiritual feelings from sex like those who have contracted and STD they are yet unware of? They claim no regret now, but will they have regret later? Or perhaps are they like the lucky few who escape phyisical disease and pregancy in unprotected sex and then argue that protection is not necessary? Have they luckily escaped the emotional scarring and think that everyone will as well? Are these people in darkness and unaware of at what they stumble?

Reread the quotes at the top of the page. What do you think you should do?






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anonymous

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Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 10:43 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think that people should definetly wait to have sex until they feel that they are ready...I for one had sex at the tender age of 13 and ended up in BIG TROUBLE...at that time i was in an abusive relationship with an older guy i think he was 16-17 at the time and found out at that young age that i was pregnant....needless to say i couldn't keep the baby because i was still a baby myself....and every day of my life i regret having to give that precious baby to the hands of god without it knowing what life was...SERIOUSLY THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT SEX BECAUSE IT MAY BE THE MOST WONDERFUL THING IN THE WORLD BUT IT CAN ALSO SCREW YOU UP BIG TIME....AND ALWAYS USE PROTECTION...
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Kara5

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Posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 01:59 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If I believe I'm ready to have sex should I get on the pill along w/ using a condom and how long do you have to take the pill before it works?
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lauriwolfe

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Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 08:05 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex is not just the most precious gift to give to your husband, but also the most precious gift a husband can give to his wife. Look into a program called "Purity's Power." It should be easy to find on the search engine. It could answer a lot of questions for you. Look into it before you make a decision you'll regret and some boy will use to make a mark on his bedpost.
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ashley

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Posted on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 01:35 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You'll never really know if your ready until it happens and if u want to risk it thats your choice 16 is not too young but its not too old to wait a year or two and make sure you are and your partner cares ya know
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learning2wait

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Posted on Wednesday, December 24, 2003 - 08:51 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex was designed by God, right? He made it for 2 TWO, just 2 people who were married. Yup, bet ya never thought about that one, huh? They were MARRIED. So, like everything else in life, if we try to take it, use it, experience it, etc. out of context or not the way it was intended we run the risk/consequence/end result of that action. Sometimes we don't have to face an immediate one because he/she really was a virgin and no one had any STD's (that's right - sexually transmitted diseases), or she didn't get pregnant. Or, you two might even end up getting married and think nothing of it. But, there will always be an unresolved guilt or healing that will need be completed after the wedding. I have heard of cases where it took up to 10 years later and all of a sudden the wife in this case, began shutting down sexually on her husband. After countless counseling sessions it came up and she said in tears, "Why couldn't you have just waited?" Or, even worse. You know if he didn't wait with you, what kind of self-control will he have when he is in a compromising/can't resist/ here it is in your face-take it sexually offering situation? That's the REAL reason guys cheat. Choosing to use no self-control. What kind of track record would you have? Afterall, he showed no self control with you.
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no name

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Posted on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 11:59 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

reading through the messages there seems to be a large agreement on girls especially to wait until they are married to have sex,this does sound very romantic although in real life not very practical,for example people now a days are getting married later so if you dont get married until your late 20's early 30's you are wasting the best years of your life.enjoy your life as your only getting the one shot at it,do only start having sex when YOU feel ready for it
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lil bull
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 - 09:45 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 17 now and i've been having sex with my boyfriend since i was 16. I almost got pressured into it a few years back, but i didn't fall into the trap. I KNEW i wasn't ready at that time. Once i turned 16 i had this feeling that i was ready-and i was. I wasn't even going out with the guy, i had been seeing him for five months before that; we were just dating. It's been almost two years now and we love each other more than ever. If you're physically adn emotionally ready, go for it! don't worry about being too young or not. That's not an important issue in this day and age.
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lilbull
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 - 09:49 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

using the pill and a condom together is the safest method in terms of STDs and pregnancy. There are other things now other than the pill that work like the pill(the patch- you change it once a week so it's harder to forget). You can take the pill within the first 24 hours of your period.. and that means that you can start having sex almsot immediately (i would wiat 24 hours though) or you cna start the first sunday after your period, and then you have to wait a whole pill cycle before having unprotected sex.
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sophia
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Posted on Saturday, December 06, 2003 - 04:04 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hi, I'm 22, female. I think it is too young because a womens verginity is sacrad. It should only be given up when a man has committed himself to her on a long term bases. I think you should be with a male for at least a year before having sex with him, that way you know that he is in the relationship for you and not just for the sex. In this society if a women has sex at a young age she is considered s "slut" and that is a hard name to get rid of even if you never have sex again. I know this is wrong, especially since society looks upon the male on having achieved something if he has sex....but he has not. It is so much more special if you wait, and when you meet the man you will marry, he will love you so much more knowing that you waiting for him, and were not with other men.
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words of caution
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Posted on Tuesday, December 09, 2003 - 09:23 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What is it with all the christians on here? Non-christians have morals as well. 16 is probably too young because most people are not mature enough at that age and that's especially true for males. But the thing you should most be worried about is STD's. The only prevention is abstinence. Did you know that you can contract HIV through oral sex? Yes it's true. Chapped lips and cuts and sores of the mouth are enough. And what's worse? 2/3rds of all people infected with STDs are people age 25 and younger. Now that's something to think about before you go and be sexual with someone. And people lie about being a virgin as well. You may think "oh I'm safe, she/he's a virgin" and then end up with HPV which is one of the most common STD's that so few of us know about. And when we're older thinking about having babies, we may be unable because STD's are a major cause of infertility and other pregnancy related problems. Oh another another thing, STD's are often asymptomatic, which means, the other person may have no symptoms that they have a disease and can be totally unaware that they are passing it on to someone else. Now, if your partner truly loves you, then he or she will get tested for STD's before you decide to have sex. Otherwise, it's just not worth it. By the way, condoms protect like crap when it comes to STD's.
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sarahvender
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Posted on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 02:00 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

To the person who gave advice about oral sex: sure it's a great place to start, but you can still get diseases. It's not fool-proof.

Sex is much more amazing when you are comfortable and confident with yourself. Sometimes at 16 you are. When you are ready, you will know.
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Tygrr Lyght
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Posted on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 08:42 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I believe it's all about how you feel about it.... If you feel that you are ready, then your virginity is yours to give. I lost my virginity at 15 and I have no regrets about it because I knew I was ready for it, and I knew that the guy that I lost it to had no STDs because no one but him had touched his penis except him. As everyone else has said, USE PROTECTION!!!
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jlmcewen
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Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 02:52 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Has anyone who has left this person advice about sex bothered to give GOD's view about sex. Our "opinions" makes no differece. What does the bible say about sex? God's view is.. you should not have sex without being married. It is called fornication. And fornication is a sin in the sight of God. You will go to hell for fornication. I had sex at fifteen in the back seat of a car. I thought it was "o.k." because I thought I loved him and he me. But what I thought made no difference to God. His word "the bible" is forever settled. And he wasnt changing the rules because of what I thought. If God would have came back during this time in my life I would have burned in hell for my fornication among other sins. I thank God that he didnt and he gave me a chance to repent. I repented at age 20, was baptized in Jesus'name, and recieved the holy ghost. Im 31 now, married and have 4 children. I wish I would have saved myself for my husband. Its something Ill regret for the rest of my life. Do as I did, obey ACTS 2:38
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Uncle 50
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Posted on Thursday, September 11, 2003 - 01:22 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am old enough to be Parents to most of you young ones and let's put it in this orderas Questions ?

One .. If you decide to have sex what kind of protection are you using ?

Two .. Without it have you considered the risks, such as a unwanted pregancy, STSD ( Sexually Transmitted Diease ).

Three ... If you did in fact became pregnant are you considering the options.

a) keeping the child and deal with a single mom life and you guys especially are you planning on the next 18 years paying court ordered child suppourt ? this also rolls over to the next woman in line or puts a problem in your marriage ?

b) giving up the baby for adoption .. there are a bunch of adoption agencies are willing to help place the child in a good home.

c) Abortion, realization of the phychological effects can surface ( by the way don't let people tell you it does not happen unless you are in a state of comatose ).

Four... How about Phychological Pregancy ? like you are and you are not ?.. I have seen this from exs in divorce just to try to get them back for a short term, then winds up a farther distance in the divorced relationship or as well a non married relationship matter of fact.

Five ... some I read in the Press that there are phychological effects as single & Divorced moms who also wind up in court for child abuse charges to outright murder, which the percentages are low and mostly those in that small percentage catergory have a problem surpressed to begin with, phychologically & emotionally. these are small percentages that happens.

These are purely observations from my personal experience also a Cheating wife that divorces you like I had one disappearred and was never heard from again. my 2nd. wife and I waited and we also have OPEN COMMUNICATION.

the rest of the group that was brought up pre 1970 please trash the opinions that are from the 1950's and send the religious cow into the eternal pasture, 2003 for those who wish to know stuff happens and reminder its passing now and these people might as well know this will go on into 2100 unless someone has the Total Cure for these dieases and Abstinance is a continual teaching in the Education system. the Next Generation will decide what they want to do. once they reach 50 things will change always has and always will.
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megan
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Posted on Thursday, September 11, 2003 - 01:22 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think age has nothing to do with whether or not you should be having sex.... I would like to say that 16 is too young, but that would be extremely hypocritical of me... I think the simple thing is that you'll know when you're ready... and more importantly, there are certain things you should be aware of. If you are not ready to risk getting pregnant then that's a big red flag... and even bigger if you don't know a lot about contraceptives and your body. Talk to your doctor about birth control methods... even with 4 different methods at the same time, nothings 100%!! The number one thing is DO NOT compromise your morals and self esteem for another person... don't have sex to make your boyfriend (or maybe girlfriend) happy, do it because it's something you want to do!!
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Jamey T.
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Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 06:32 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ummm...okay. What's up with all you females who think it is sooooo important to just wait to have sex if you're 16. If you love the guy and he loves you, what's wrong??? What, are you trying to make "morality" happy? Why not just make yourself happy, but of course if you're not prepared to deal with a pregnancy, use protection. I'm a 16 year old guy, and I started doing stuff when I was 13...well, actually my first intercourse was at 13, but it was with a girl who was way older than me, and I wouldn't have changed that experience for anything. I think that the major issue of postponing sex for some females is that they don't know how to have or have never had an orgasm, and they get all wishywashy about sex because they don't think they're gonna enjoy it. You girls who fit into that category : YOU NEED TO MASTURBATE!!!!! Once you start getting off, believe me, you're gonna change your whole outlook on intimate experiences. And us guys, we're not afraid to play with you a little bit down there or go down on you if you have trouble getting off when we're inside you. All you have to do is just ask us for it. It's not as embarrassing as it seems, and we're eager to learn and please you, too. I don't know....maybe for some goofy personal reasons some people still want to wait, even guys, but dang, it's not gonna hurt anything if you have sex when you're 16 or even younger. Yeah, our parents would just love us to believe that they were just frigging little "saints" when they were younger, but who's buying that crap? Some adults think that they just know what is sooooo best for us...but what were they doing when they were our age? Yeah, they were making out and screwing too. Man, people ---- don't be so freaking lame. Virginity can be really sexy, but if you aren't a virgin when you get married, it can still be really sexy. And people who have had sex a lot like me and my best friend and my girlfriend, we're more adventurous sexually than a lot of you virgins out there. Sorry if I ticked some of you people off, but man, I just had to say this stuff.
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Roger Adams
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Posted on Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 06:56 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am having a problem with erections and I do not want to pay the cost for viagra, is there anything from GNC that will help me?
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marshall a xiimix
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Posted on Thursday, September 25, 2003 - 11:18 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

waiting is definatly the way to go. when you find that special person, you will thank yourself for waiting. my fiance has had a few guys before me and i hate the idea of her being with others. i think i hold it against her some what. so wait till you know for surity that the time is right.
anyways no girl wants to be known as a slut
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Nadia
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Posted on Sunday, September 28, 2003 - 11:40 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

well, I'm pretty sure that in most religions it is a sin to have sex before marriage as it is in my religion. I got married at 19 and was a virgin. It is so special waiting and giving that special something to the most special person- your significant other. You know that person isn't just using you for sex. That person exchanged his vows with me. We have been married for 2 years now, and the sex is great! It's so special on your wedding night because there's something to really look forward to----making love for the first time! Now that's Priceless!
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Saul Hudson
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Posted on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 - 11:02 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You should have sex if you are ready to face the consecuences (pregnacy, stds. etc....)
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guess who
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Posted on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 05:37 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What age is it ok for me to have sex?
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Jewls
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Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 07:18 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Dont confuse LOVE with SEX - two very different things, and as long as you know it go and do what your heart (and mind) tells you.
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Jewls
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Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 07:15 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There is nothing wrong with sex! It is a wonderful experience that should be enjoyed and desired. Humans are sexual creatures and thus it is healthy for us! BUT make sure you are ready!
It doesn't matte how old you are, or even if you are not a virgin, NEVER have sex if you are not %110 sure you will not regret it afterwards.
Also, there is nothing wrong with being sexually ACTIVE - we meet a lot of people throughout our lives, and if one of them expects you to be a virgin by the time he OR she gets their hands on you THEY are NOT the person you should be sleeping with.
Good luck! Have a lot of fun, and most importantly stay HEALTHY and HAPPY!
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Gerrard Owen
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Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 12:24 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Have sex as often as you can get it when you're young because once you're married you're going to spend the rest of your life looking for it with anyone but your spouse.

And if you're married or with someone remember there's always infidelity.

Human beings are genetically programmed to have sex with multiple people, it is a fulfilling and basic need of our existence.
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dark angel
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Posted on Monday, October 27, 2003 - 07:03 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I found this page by accident and curiousity, All the above was interesting reading I just hope the person who asked the question isn't confused as I am.
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Lina
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Posted on Monday, March 08, 2004 - 02:27 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

First of all, make sure that the other person treats you right. Partners in a relationship need to build each other up, not tear each other apart, not pressure them, but support them. Second, never make emotional decisions. Time and wisdom are key. Ladies, if your being pressured, and not getting respect, he is NOT it. It is NEVER that serious. Never compromise your dignity/integrity for fear of rejection. NEVER settle for less, don't make excuses for anybody. Be true to yourself.
Gerrard Owen, you have got to be out of your freaking mind, are you for real? You need Jesus. You are sending out the wrong message. I hope you can look inside yourself and find the real problem/solution. Good luck
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Passing Stranger
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Posted on Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - 08:41 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am a 24-year-old woman. I had sex for the first time at age 16, with a boy I had been dating for 4 months. We ended up being together for 5 years, not because we had sex then but because we had a deep connection that was very easy to sense. Having sex with him felt right at the time, it still feels right, and I don't regret a thing. I was ready to have sex---I knew how to bring myself to orgasm, and I knew how to use birth control. I also trusted my partner, and talked to him about what we were doing. If you feel that you AND your partner are ready, you should have sex. It won't be fabulous at first, but it will be fun to experiment until you get things right. If you are comfortable with and knowledgeable about your body, able to talk openly with your partner, and doing it for yourself, go get a box of condoms and get to it (a good test to see if you're ready is to see how you feel buying condoms; are you excited or scared? Embarassed? Anything but excited means you need to think it over.) If you plan to have sex regularly it would be a good idea to use a second form of birth control. When my 16-year-old brother told me he was thinking of having sex with his 16-year-old girlfriend, I recommended that they go to Planned Parenthood together to learn about pregnancy and disease prevention (they went by the way, and yes, they are having sex, and yes, I consider them ready.) Lastly, remember that there is more to sex than penile-vaginal penetration; there are plenty of ways to be sexually intimate that won't potentially get you pregnant and will guarantee a good time for everyone involved.
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Lauren Brightbill
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Posted on Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 09:13 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am a 23 year old female. My advice to you is if you want to have sex, have sex. Never let someone talk you out of using a condom. Whatever you do don't have sex because someone else wants you to, that is when you should say no. He also has to be someone that you can trust. I know it sounds so simple but so many people forget these simple rules. Oh yeah and don't be afraid of going to your area clinic so that you can be tested and start birth control.
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Alice Board
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Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 03:28 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There is a huge difference between lust and love.
Lust is visual, and when a guy wants to have sex just because someone is hot, that is selfish and they are only thinking about themselves.
Love is caring, honest, respectful, and faithful. If a guy is pressuring you to have sex and keeps saying things like, 'if you loved me you would have sex with me', well, it's the other way around. If he loved you he would respect you.

I myself am 15 and I have decided to save myself completely for my husband. If I found out that he had been having sex at age 15 with other people before he married me, that would break my heart. But just think about it...I think it's a true sign of love to wait.
I want to be able to say on my wedding day, "I saved myself until I found someone special enough and that I love enough to marry to give myself to."

Anyway...that's just my opinion.

Have a great life and God Bless!!! :-)

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Angel^Starlight
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Posted on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 11:50 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 22 now, lost my virginity at 19 (and still with the guy I lost it to)... He had had one partner before me, and I made him wait 2 years until I felt I was ready. He teases me now about "if you knew how good it was going to be you probably wouldn't have waited so long.." and actually, I still would have, and here's my reasoning for such:
1) are you completely comfortable going into a store and buying condoms? if not, then wait until you are.
2) If you end up pregnant, are you financially stable to support a child and are ready to give up a good chunk of your social life to it? Are you emotionally stable enough to deal with loss through abortion, miscarriage, or adoption? If no is the answer to any of those, it's probably not the time.
3)Are you concerned about what your parents would think if they found out? If you are you probably aren't emotionally ready...
4) Are you uncomfortable being around him when he's nude, or are uncomfortable being nude around him? That's not ready for sex...
5)Do you honestly want to have to go sneaking around just so you can find some alone-time to have sex? Constantly worried about being walked in on (which isn't fun mind you)?

I wanted to wait to have sex not for the whole ideological "I have morals! Sex is love! Blah blah blah!" even though I do love my boyfriend and do believe in monogamy (or as close to monogamy as one can get in this day and age), but for logical reasons. I wanted to have fun without having to worry about any reprocussions from anyone else... I wanted to be mature enough to get the protection I needed (in both condom and pill form), and I wanted to be old enough where if by any chance I did become pregnant, I'd be able to still live my life. I watched my best friend have 3 kids before she turned 21...she lives with her parents and works at a nursing home...I gotta say I have bigger ambitions than that. Some people can be happy with little education and a not too lucrative career...I'm not one of them.
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Bob A. Ganoosh
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Posted on Tuesday, April 06, 2004 - 09:37 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

After only reading the first few posts, I have to say:

It's just sex! Do it! Have fun! Enjoy it!

It's not a big deal, you've just been led to believe that it is. Fock your brains out!
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Steve
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Posted on Friday, April 09, 2004 - 02:26 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ok, I'll give an insight from another perspective? Im a guy who has only been with the woman Im married to. We did have sex before we were married, but I knew she was the one I would marry and planned on it. Ok, she was only 16 and I had just turned 20. A friend of the family kind of situation. She had been involved with a guy sexually before me and I knew that. Although I was bothered by it, I didnt let it keep me from persuing her because I was in love with her. To ease the pain I told her I had been with someone else before as well. Ok, my first advice, be completely honest with your partner about your sexual experiences. However, strangely enough it gave me a false sense of gratification knowing she thought this. I almost came to believe it myself. We've been married married now for just over 10 years, and the feelings re-surfaced to the point I had to let her know she was the "one". I didnt know what I was in for! It was supposed to be something special that I would share with her? But to my surprise after all these years of marriage, I became jealous, insecure with myself, and haunted with images of the woman I love with another guy. She was only 15 when she had this relationship, and claims to regret it badly. She did it out of pressure and acceptance. She claims she was never pleasured by him and it was over before you knew it. Also left with the feeling it meant nothing to him, no more than just getting off. She knew right away she didnt really love him, but it went on for awhile. She said when she got together with me she knew she found true love and sex was different like night and day. Second advice, dont do anything out of anything less than true love or it may effect you down the road, and even others you now truely love. I dont care what people say here about sex not being something sacred. Thats a matter of opinion I guess. It is however, something that should only be shared by two people that love each other and equally. If there's anybody that has a similar experience and has helpful advice in dealing with something like this, please write me. Thanks.
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Maggie
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Posted on Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 05:07 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am going through the same ordeal as the 16 year old who asked the question i am also 16. My best guy friend and me were writing notes back and forth when i thought he was just being a perv he told me face to face that he was serious. Well i didnt know what to say so i led it on and told him i wanted it to be with someone i loved and wanted it to be special but he jept sying he can make it special and i told him i wanted to go slow. LIke start by kissing making out and eventually lead up to it well he got the wrong idea that i wanted this to all happen in the same day. So i told him i dont know yet so he wanted to come by. you see he is a virgin to and said he was tired of being one he doesnt want to be my boyfriend but this so called friends with benefits. Well i know that is bull. I didnt do it with him. But i have to admit that i was really tempted to. But i knew i wasnt ready yet. But it has been a few months now and i have been really thinking about it i turn 17 this year and i feel like i am ready but i dont know for sure yet. These people who are like ask your mom aunt cousin sister or someone well for one my mother died in 2003 all that is left is my dad and brother and i dont talk about stuff like that with my dad because he tells everyone else in my family and my aunts are the same way and i am not close to any of my cousins so what better than to get advice from people on the net wouldnt you rather ask instead of taking the risk and going through the whole ordeal by your self not knowing what to expect. I still talk to the guy and still thinking about it its my body and i will know when i am ready If it is such a sin then why did God give us all of the urges when your ready you know. Ok your not alone me you and millions of other girl same age are in a situation similar to this.
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realist
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Posted on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 09:32 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

wow.... its just sex. the poster said she was confused because she feels ready for sex, but our current society deems 16 too young. if you are religious n want to save urself for marrige, thats one thing, but once a person goes through puberty, they are ready for sex, thats natures way, end of story.
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t.dot
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Posted on Monday, June 14, 2004 - 11:56 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

hey everybody i have a question. i am a 16 year old male and everygirl that i have had sex with we havent been together much longer after like maybe 3 to 10 monthes i dont know what... but my g/f now is a virgin and we really care about each other alot and she had done more with me then any other guy. and we really love each other and she says that she wants to lose her virginity to me but i am a lil worried that it might be like some of the other girls. but we really love each other and she has done more with me then ne other guy still do u think it would be right to have sex with her or should i still wait to make sure it wont be like ne of the othjer ones
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voice of reason
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Posted on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 12:44 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

When you have sex with someone, you are agreeing to remember the other person for the rest of your life. This is particularly true for your first. I don't, however, believe that a woman has to wait until marriage. Women today are allowed to have richly textured independent lives before they decide on the one person that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Other men besides your husband will mean something to you in your life. Although you will eventually cease to feel anything romantic towards them, you will always remember them fondly. This should be the way the you eventually feel about your first. It should be a person that you love and who's love for you is obvious (and not because they say it all the time), and who will be discreet. In high school, you ideally don't want very many people to know, or other guys will start bothering you and people will talk about it behind your back. In college, it's all a lot easier to deal with. Also, make the guy get tested first - if he doesn't want to, he might not really love you after all...plus, then you can use that time to take your first month of the pill (talk to your doctor). Condoms are completely unreliable.

And don't listen to Christian wackos who want to play out their rigid beliefs on YOUR body. Unless, of course, you ARE a Christian, and then I guess that you should wait. Hey, it's your belief system.
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baby L
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Posted on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 03:03 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i think that when your ready your ready and the whole thing about saving yourself is so dumb you only live once so do whatever i did and no matter what your gonna have sex anyway so just what feels right im 16 and i started when i was 14 and i was happy with my boyfriend i slept with him just out of being curious and i didnt think but i did it the wrong way he was my best friends friend and i didnt really know him or anything and didnt know if he was sexually active i was just curious lol and we got togethet and the next thing you know he was taking me home and we exchanged names and numbers i thought he was never gonna call but i didnt care i was happy just to give up with any out heartbreaks and yeah but then he called and the next thing ya know we started dating and of course we had sex and we both loved lol and then we had a deep talk one nite and he said he had never been with anyone but me and this was after like 6 months and me either and then he said i was hes life and he wanted to be with me forever and forever and then this is the crazy part we wanted a baby and so i had one and life is good and we are both every happy im almost 17 and loving my daughter and having sex did change my life cus now i have a beautiful baby girl but it has never taken the fun out my life i still do what other teenage girls do im still in school and in cheerleading and in honor classes i have a job and go shopping. my baby is just like my best friend and i do everything with her but i did have to grow up i moved out and in with my boyfriend and i clean and cook and be a mom and take care of my family i have and i love it but all i wanted was to lose my (v) and move on lol but instead im happy with what i got out of it a family so do whatever at age 16 youll grow up anyway have kids and have sex someday its just live life and have fun . but if you dont want a baby or stds dont be stupid and not use a condom or birthcontrol or just not have sex.
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leah
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Posted on Wednesday, June 16, 2004 - 05:23 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

there is nothing wrong with having sex when you are ready, i had sex when i was 16 and married the guy when i was 22, actually the sex is great when you are younger and wild, just use protection and enjoy the ride:-)
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hannah
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Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2004 - 12:57 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i think that if you are ready to have sex, it shouldn't seem like such a big deal anymore. you know you are ready when you don't do it because you want to impress your mates, or because you think everybody else is doing it. you should also be able to talk to your mum, or your dad, or even an older sister. it doesn't matter who, i mean i talk to somebody who used to babysit me when i was much younger, but you have to talk to someone about contreception and the like. that is always embarassing, but if you don't feel you can do it, then you are also not ready. i don't personally agree with waiting until marriage, but you should wait until you love the boy/girl. i nearly did it when i was 12, but instead i said no, and i am so glad i did. i thought i loved him, afterwards it turned out he was an idiot. don't do it because your mates have. do it because you love them, but more importantly because YOU know YOU are ready.

hope this helps...
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123456789thy
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Posted on Friday, July 30, 2004 - 02:14 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Listen hear, I never beleived in the whole marriage thing and though I regret having sex I don't think I would want to wait for marriage, I don't know if I beleive in that. I am also not one to sleep around or be flirty or anything like that. I have only been with two people and am 18, I regret both. Even though the one I am in a two year relationship, he gave me HPV which is usually undetectable in males but can cause alot more trouble for woman. It is alot more common than you think. I have not told any of my friends I am so embarassed. Since its so hard to detect you never now if you have gotten rid of it. So at the age of 18 I have this thing for the rest of my life. Which I will not go sleep with any one else no matter what, with out them knowing about it and only if I think I will be with them for ever. I never had the intentions of having one night stands but I also know that this sucks. And I did use condomns its spread by skin contact and sometimes the virus can go through the pores of the condom. Alot more people have it then you think. Like I said I'm not a flirty person, not been with many guys no reason to think I have been. You would not think I had this, and some people may not care about transferring this or not even know they have it, it could take years before you were to have any symptons. Anyone unsure of having sex don't do it, know his/her history (stats say 1 in 4 people have an std, if they've been with more than for chances are higher) just because you've already made a mistake lost it to some loser don't just start giving it up to anyone (heard alot of those stories) Sex really is better when you care about the person.
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123456789thy
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Posted on Friday, July 30, 2004 - 02:18 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

One other thing, listen and learn from the majority. How many people don't regret they had started smoking? None that I've met, you can't regret something you've never done. If their worth it you'll have another opportunity
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Kimba M.A. Wiggins
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Posted on Saturday, August 28, 2004 - 08:26 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't think 16 is too young. If you are mentally prepared, and your parents approve, then it's alright. I never told my mom that I was having sex at 16 because I was not comfortable talking to her about it. When I was younger, she never sat me down and talked to me about the birds and the bees. I learned that on my own. That led to me looking for sex whenever and wherever I could. I was addicted to sex and it's taken me ELEVEN years to kick the habit. I'm now twent-one(yes 21!) and I'm in a great relationship with an older man. I no longer roam the streets looking for sex. I am a mother now of a two year old boy...

If you want to have sex at 16, go ahead. Protect yourself, because if you don't, you might catch HIV, AIDS, someother nasty STD, or get pregnant.
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AAnonymous
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Posted on Friday, September 03, 2004 - 09:31 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I lost my virginity when i was 16. It was my choice. I've always been a curious person, and my curiosity got the best of me. I felt bad at first, because i felt as though i took advantage of the boy i was dating. He'd only had sex one time before me and that was with a girl he was with for 3 years. In my opinion, it isnt THAT big of a deal. We used protection and I satisfied my curiousity for what the big deal was. I am 19 now and havent had sex again yet. I am now waiting for a guy that I think will satify my curiousity for good sex. haha. good luck doll.
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annonamous name
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Posted on Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 12:15 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am 15 years old, and I lost my virginity with my boyfriend in July of 2005 "he was a virgin also".... we were only 2gether for 4 months, and although were only 15 we both love eachother very much, and we plan on spending the rest of our lives 2gether, and even though it's kind of young to be planning this it can really happen. But we had sex without telling our parents and I feel kind of guilty because I never lie to my mom, and my mom tells me if I ever think about having it "although I'm young and she'd prefer if I waited" she'll still support me because she'd rather me tell her then hide it from her, but I can't tell her because I know if my boyfriends mom finds out she will make us break up,and my mom will tell her, and I don't want to break up with him because then I would have lost my virginity to him for nothing.... and we BOTH go to church, and I knoe the Bible pretty well, and although it says it is a sin to have sex before you get married ..... well it is also a sin to have a need to want to do something and not do it. Well I really want to know if I should have sex with him again or not... PLEASE answer....
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Some Guy
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Posted on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 10:57 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

well if you feel guilty about it dont do it again, unless your parents know about the first time. Cause other wise you are just putting more guilt on you every time you have sex, and could end up ruining your relationship with your boyfriend and your mom.
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Been through it
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Posted on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 03:35 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Having questions about sex is one thing, not knowing when to have it another. I had sex when I was 14, and true now that I look back it was stupid, not with the right guy, and maybe I wasn't emotionally ready for it, but I never regretted it. If anything it made me the wiser about sex...I can say this from experience...unless you are prepared to deal with concequence, ie:pregnancy, religious factors, parents, failed relationships, STD's/STI's...etc...then don't have sex, whether you are 14 or 30, age has nothing to do with it. Some can be 27 and still not be ready for sex, doesn't make them a social retard like someone else posted, just means that they aren't ready for the next step. I can say that I do regret one thing with all my heart and having sex isn't it...having an abortion at 17 is the most humiliating, regretable thing I have done in 22 years on this earth. I was prepared to have sex, but not face the concequences that came with it. So...if you think you are ready and you feel comfortable with yourself and your partner, then do what is right for you, but be prepared to face the sometimes life devastating concequences that go along with having sex. Just be informed about everything that comes with having sex...taklk to a health worker or your doctor...there is such a thing as doctor patient confidentiality. But hey who am I to give advise!!
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Word_of_Advice
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Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 07:43 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There is no 100% answer to this, since there is no guarantee that even if you stay a virgin, and find another virgin, get married, and have sex, that 10-15 years later one of you won't cheat on the other. Then what? You are no longer a virgin and will have to settle with yourself and realize that there is no guarantees in love.

However, I think that everyone should do the following before having sex with anyone:

-both of you get tested for stds/hiv and share results with doctor openly (don't take peoples words on anything, and someone that refuses to do this test isn't worth your time or trust)

-wait at least 6 months from the point either of you had sex last (I suggest 1 or 2 years or even until marriage). This way it ensures it is not a rebound and that sufficient has time passed since their last sexual encounter. This will prove they are not in it for sex, and also increase the pleasure level since it will be something "deprived" for a while. (the longer you wait for food the better it tastes :-)

-Try to find a partner with a similair sexual history (virgin to virgin or roughly equal number of partners. I can't stress enough about this one, as you will often find the person that has fewer partners being uncomfortable about the number of people their lover has been with, and worrying about comparing their performance/size etc.. to the others the person has had. Also someone with more previous sexual partners can be somewhat disatisfied with an inexperienced partner as they will be looking at the experience differently. For example, a virgin would want it to be very special, soft, romantic, and a feeling of love. Someone with experience may just want to have a long intense lustful pleasurable experience, and would not be satisfied with a "short" performance. This will end up hurting the virgin or inexperienced one.

-Interpret your own instinct properly. Realize when your heart/instinct is telling you that something isn't right, nad learn to distinguish that feeling from excitement. If you are unsure, don't proceed, wait until your mind and body agree, and then you will not feel the hesitation.

-Ask your partner how many sexual partners they have had, and why all of their relationships ended. Get this out of the way early so you don't get involved with someone and later get curious or find out things that will bother you. It is not a good idea to pretend that the passed doesn't matter, unless of course you yourself have a passed you want to hide. If you feel you are a good person who values sex as being very important, then make sure your partner is the same. If you take them for who they are, then years later find out that they were involved in a gangbang at a college, you will change your mind, and you should have found out about all of this before getting involved.

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jimmy
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Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 10:22 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

People should have sex at any age. To be blinded of this reality by a conservative social force is a weekness in everyone. Just have sex. I don't care if you are only 10. If you feel like having sex, then do it. The only thing bad about anything anyone ever does in this world, is when "someone else" judges you negatively for it.
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It's Labels.
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Posted on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 03:41 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I really don't see what the big deal is about having sex. The only reason intercourse was invented was so organisms could reproduce. The body parts we use to have sex have a lot of nerves in them so that we WANT to reproduce. And now that we have effective birth control methods, why not take advantage of those nerves? As long as we are responsible and know the possible consequences of our actions, I don't think anything should stop us from having sex.
How could someone be "ready" to have sex, anyway? What does "ready" even mean? A lot of people have doubts about having sex not because they are afraid of their own emotional reactions but of the reactions of others. They're afraid of getting a reputation or even if no one else knows what they have done, they are afraid they'll end up labeling themselves as "sluts." I'd only call someone that name if they've cheated on their significant other.
Really, guys, come on. Sex is just sex.
:-)
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nbchjsrflewufgbgjlaw
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Posted on Friday, November 12, 2004 - 12:28 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

im 18 the first tim i had sex was when i was 5 yers old and i have no regreats.
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diettte
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Posted on Saturday, November 27, 2004 - 06:12 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 13 and had sex at 13. I don't really regret it. To me, sex isn't much. God gave us that pleasure, don't abuse it, but don't make it that much of a big deal. Why regret it? Of course, it's so much simpler to give your virginity to your true love, but my virginity doesn't matter much to me. Sex didn't really affect me. But I'm still young.
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LJBassX
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Posted on Sunday, December 05, 2004 - 05:04 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Wow... after reading these posts I'm not sure if I should be frightened or just laughing hysterically :-)
Anyway, I'm a 22 yr. old woman. I'm not a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was almost 18 to a guy I was with for over a year. I don't regret it. When we broke up (almost a year and a half later), I was enagaged at 19 and slept with that man. When we broke up, it was really nasty (he changed jobs and started using cocaine and things got abusive) I went off the deep end and did alot things I regretted. Now, I've been with my fiance for over a year and a half. I don't regret the two serious relationships I had before him, I only regret the time when sex was just something to make the hurt stop. My fiance has only been with one othweer person... I've been with 7. I wish I could have made it more special because he deserves it.
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ImJustSaying
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Posted on Friday, January 07, 2005 - 04:31 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

As a 25 year old single man who waited til college to have sex I'll say this. I am currently searching for someone to spend the rest of my life with and I refuse to have that person be someone who has had sex with a ton of guys. I want someone that makes me feel special. I just don't want to be another number on the line. Don't let yourself be that girl. Everyone will talk about you behind your back and no one will respect you. Have sex with those you care about and wnjoy it but for gods sake dont screw every guy that hits on you.
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Ginger
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Posted on Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 01:13 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I was 14 when I lost my virginity to a guy I had been with for 2 years, my first love. No regrets, but I knew I was ready. We had an open and honest relationship and talked about it before it happened, and after it happened, and we were super careful, both virgins.

That being said, if you have to ask if you're too young, then you are. Wait until you know you're ready and don't need the advice of many strangers to encourage you/discourage you from, well, doing it (pun intended)

Listen to your heart, not your hormones....otherwise you will regret it.

If you decide to go for it, please, please please, be careful...go on the pill and use a condom (condoms by themselves are only 70% effective)

Luck, love and light to you both.
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wiseandtrue
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Posted on Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 09:25 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I did lose my virginity at 16. I did not get any STDs, any unwanted pregnancy. I was young and thought that I loved that person. I did care about that person like a friend.

I regret that I did it to the day I die.

When you have sex with someone you are giving them a peice of yourself. When you have multiple partners you are giving away peices of yourself.

Yes it may seem romantic to wait for the right person but when I met my DH there was not if ands or buts. We waited till we got married and we have been together for 15 years now. You know I wish I could have given my husband the knowledge that I thought carefully about whom I gave my body. Trust me that beign wth someone 3 months or 10 months is not a long time.


By the way condoms are essentially useless to protect against ALL stds. It protects against pregnancy - when you don't get a bad batch that fails, bursts or whatever. Also the pill does not protect against any stds. The pill will also fail if you are sick and get some prescription meds.
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sara lovington
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Posted on Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 03:33 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

you only have 1 life, so why wait? sex is to much fun and feels far too good to be waiting around on, just use protection and then let the good times roll.
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james white
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Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 11:58 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ALL YOU PEOPLE THAT SAY IT PAYS TO WAIT ARE PATHETIC! If you really love and care about someone with true and moral feelings it is never to early! I am a 24 year old virgin thanks to a corrupt government alien conspiracy which has interfered with everything I have ever tried to do in life, AND DONE HORRIBLE THINGS TO MY LIFE AND HEALTH! The many highly advanced alien groups they work with have made sure that I have nothing! All the good deeds I could have done, All the chances which were right there in front of me like gold I could not pick up. Gone taken!! Do you have any idea what is like to be good looking with everyone coming on to you, to have more knowledge about the truth then anyone else and not be able help people, get involved or do anything about it without interference from corrupt government forces? AT 8 YEARS OLD I FULLY UNDERSTOOD THE CONCEPT OF WHAT LOVE AND SEX WERE AND WANTED IT EVER SINCE THAT AGE MORE THEN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. Every one which sees me says the same thing!!!! How can you possibly be single?, you are so good looking, how can you possibly have all these weird bad things happening to you?, you are so smart. If you are consciously aware of what you want and where you are going in life you will have no guilt! TRUE INNOCENCE IS LACK OF GUILT, NOT LACK OF KNOWLEDGE!

It is the government, religious believes, media, and several means of technology and mind control used to control the general public that makes everyone stupid! They are targeting youth over everyone else. MTV &;; BLACK RELATED MUSIC. Any type of Rap is extremely dangerous and another form of mind control and hypnosis ~ Almost completely infiltrated by the Dark federal agencies whom target youth groups. These federally Funded Agencies which are paid to keep us (the knowledgeable humans) at bay.
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Tim
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Posted on Tuesday, March 29, 2005 - 02:28 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm not a Christian. I am a 22 year old male and am still a virgin. When I was younger, a guy I knew ended up getting a girl pregnant who he evidently wasn't ready to marry. He hadn't finished HS, let alone had the chance to go to college. He ended up fleeing to the military to escape the situation he created. Seeing that happen to him weighed heavily on my own personal choices. I currently have one year left of college, and I do want to get married, but not until I'm ready to take on the responsibility.

It may not sound very good, but the number of partners you were with definitely does affect how you're percieved down the road. Without going into details, sexual encounters prior to marriage were a driving force behind the breakup of my parents' marriage and caused problems throughout. Growing up as a kid I didn't know why and never understood it. I don't want to make the same mistake.

My advice plainly is to wait. The risks and possible shame/embarassment just aren't worth it for moments of pleasure. You might get away with it, but on the other hand you're definitely safe if you wait. Get your education first at least.

And as a guy I know...any man pressuring a woman for sex is not looking for a long term relationship. If he wanted to marry you, he'd appreciate the fact that you wouldn't have sex with him, because that probably means you wouldn't with other guys either.
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Arran Conroy
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Posted on Tuesday, April 05, 2005 - 05:58 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Im from the uk, where the legal age is 16. I was younger when i fist had sex, although i didnt love the man, it was an experiance i wouldn't change. i have been in both loving relationships and flings. I dont see the harm in sex as long as your careful. Sex is very natural and we all have needs, wants and desires. If people we're more open, kids would have a better understanding of sex. Be safe and be careful is true. But the way you decide should be your own personal choice. At the end of the day, its only you how knows why you should feel guilty?! Sex at the right time is fantastic, you feel liberated. The whole sex after marrige i disagree with, Making love with your partner can make your relationship stronger. The world it just too big for there to be only one person for you. You learn from relationships, people chage, you set differnt goals as you get older. Im not with my first love, not second but third. Im a different person. At the end of the day you know, no one can tell you when your ready. Some people are 25 and others are different thats why we are all different. Live life
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Aislin Larson
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Posted on Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 02:58 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm 16 years old and i lost my virginity 3 months ago to my bf...i really love him and he really loves me..but if i were to go to the doctors would they have to tell my mom that i have been having sex or do they have to keep it confidential? i want to talk to my mom about it but im afraid to because we never sit down and talk about sex or relationships with guys....what should i do?
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Karla
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Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 04:22 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

in my opinion i think that there is no age in having sex.I think that as long as the person is mature and knows what he/she is doing and doing it with,is totally fine.But one thing always use protection.
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jamin jd
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Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:08 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i am 16 and have had sex with only one girl. i dated her since i was 13. both of us had been preasured into trying it many times but we never did untill we were ready to move to the next level in our relationship. i have never loved a girl more and i never will.I also hope to someday marry her. i think as long as u truely truely love the person who cares how old u are. But, unlike me use protection because i didnt and i spent weeks worring if i had gottin her pregnent. so use protection, be safe, and be sure it is what u both want before u ever even consider it.
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waiting
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Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 06:37 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

im 16(a girl), am a virgin, and am going to be until my wedding night. to everybody thats saying it doesnt matter or it doesnt affect you- shutup!
God created sex for one man and one woman and only after theyre married. i dont know from experience but i know from other people you will regret sex outside of marriage it does affect you and more than just physically. it doesnt matter if youre a christian, if you believe God or not, He created you and He knows you, and He loves you more than anyone else ever, He knows how you will be affected- the laws He's made " thou shalt not commit adultery"(thats sex or messing around with someone you're not married to) are for everyone's good, not just to take away your fun.
take it from a God who loves you- wait.
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kellypie
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Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 09:03 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

often, sex is confused as LOVE. at 16 anyone may end up fooling him/her self by saying his/she's damned READY FOR SEX. actually some would even use love to get his/her partner into BED. and it is too sad that in most cases, anyone who have had sex at such tender age or even younger is taunted with fear and regret.
you see guys, you cannot just say "hey, i FEEL READY, let's have sex". you should not only feel it. you should KNOW it too. readiness should mean proper and sufficient knowledge about sex - the consequences like unwanted pregnancies, STDs... or even FEAR whether your prospect lifetime partner would accept you having had sex before (there are still much too conservative men or worse those double-standard brats that enjoyed sex before but want their lifetime mate to be virgin). and maturity is the ability to determine what is best for you after laying all the facts.
SO BEFORE YOU JUMP TO BED WITH YOUR PARTNER, ALWAYS REMEMBER: SEX MUST NOT ONLY BE DOMINATED BY THE HEART, MIND MUST BE THERE TO EQUALLY WEIGH THINGS. "Is your partner worth doing sex with? Do you both know the possible consequences of doing it outside marriage? Do you LOVE EACH OTHER or you only LUST EACH OTHER?
i alone would suggest you wait guys... but hey, it's up to you. whatever your decision may be: out of wed-lock, always PRACTICE SAFE SEX!
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opinionated
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Posted on Saturday, May 28, 2005 - 08:38 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Having sex is a deep expression of love and affection and you should only share it with a person you really care about. It isn't just about physical pleasure.

If afterwards, or when the relationship ends, you regret having sex, then you probably wern't ready for it.

As for your age, I don't think there really is a 'right' age. Whenever you believe you are ready for it, go for it. Just MAKE DAMNED SURE that you know about all the consequences (STDs, pregnancies, legal,social, etc) before you do it.

If you insist on waiting till you're wedding night to engage in sex, then you may have missed out on a wonderful experience that you could have shared with someone who you might have loved very deeply who you wern't married to.

I'm 23, male, and don't regret losing my virginity at 18. My girlfriend, though we are no longer together, doesn't either (she was 16 at the time).

If you object on religious grounds to sex, well, better follow that moral compass there...but please, everyone, be open minded. Sex isn't just about reproduction or getting that physical pleasure...its about an emotional bond with you and your partner.
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Daniel
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Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 03:41 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

@ waiting: Adultery is not, as u stated, sex with someone you are not married to, but is rather "Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse".

Therefore one must be married to commit adultery. I am not a christian, but that is not what this thread is about.

I am a 16yr old male and I am a virgin. Quite a few of my friends have had sex but I do not feel pressured to follow their example. I will have sex when I am ready and when I want to.

My advice is to have sex when you want to and when you feel you are ready. Everyone will be 'ready' at different ages, times, etc. Just do what you believe is right for yourself...
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JLD
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Posted on Tuesday, June 14, 2005 - 01:48 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ok..this is kinda a long story. I'm 16(girl) and there's this guy who I love with all my heart. We met through church and I can't seem to get enough of him.(Not sexually, just time with him) and hes got this girl who was his first gf since he was 14, and they have been off and on since then and he will be 17 in July, and I found out the reason he feels so attached to her still is that they have had sex. more then once for 2 years and I don't really know what too do. Should I tell him who cares, if you don't love her anymore, why does it matter, if you care about me and I care about you. Is it wrong to go out with him now...that I know this..HELP ME PLEASE!!!!
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Avinash Agarwal
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:37 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I dont think so that you must have sex at this age even if you are ready.I am not any moral guardian but say this only when you yorself say that you are confused.Wait,relax think about it.If you feel that this is only a teenage xcitement ,curb it.It will pay you later.Best wishes
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Anonymous1234
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Posted on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 06:12 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sex is something that is purely an individual thing, and the choice of having sex is therefore up to the individual. The individual should not be pressured into having sex, it should be of their own free will. If you feel that sex is a special thing, then you should wait. If you feel it will be more of a way of showing emotion or a recreational thing then 16 is probably the minimum age that you should undertake sexual activity. In Australia where I am 16 is the minimum age of consent.

The most important thing is that you have protected sex. You could use a condom, which protects against most but not all STD's and pregnancy if used correctly. The other option is birth control, of which there are several forms, the most effective is the pill (if taken correctly) which can have negative effects, or the rod in the arm, which is what my girlfriend has. The rod is a very tiny slow release device that lasts for 3 years and doesn't have the side effects that the pill does. A bit more cost to start with but its worth it when you consider that its not effected by medication and you don't have to worry about forgetting to take it!

If you do have unprotected sex (in this context, sex without condoms but on birth control), then you should both be tested for STD's beforehand. You may not think you need to but sometimes it doesn't require sex to contract STD's, and its to assure your partner more than assuring yourself :-)!

And back to the main consideration, think long and hard how you feel about sex, whether it is something special to save for your future husband, something to save for someone that you dearly love, or as 'recreation'. I don't mean recreation sex, but sex say once a week with your current partner.

At that age sex is different, the guy can be more in it for a quick relief more than pleasuring the girl. If you have sex you have to ensure the guy isn't just doing it for that and that it lasts for more than 5 minutes! lol.
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khc
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Posted on Friday, July 15, 2005 - 12:15 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

JLD- I don't know your full story, but based on what you have posted I hear you saying that you're in love with someone who still has feelings of attachment towards someone else. You say that you would like to tell him to just get over her, but would that really make him get over her? The only person you have control over is yourself, your feelings and your actions. I can't tell you if it is wrong or right because I don't know. I can tell you to follow your heart and be as objective as possible. It sounds as though your having some reservations about the situation so take some time to think about things. Be careful not to get into a situation to where you feel like you must have sex to keep him. Maybe he needs some time to miss you and realize how wonderful an attachment based on quality time and comonalities can be. Best Wishes with this and I hope that it helps somewhat.
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^_^
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Posted on Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 10:20 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm almost 17 years old.

I lost my virginity at age 14.. to a 23 year old man.

Do I regret losing my virginity? No. I was ready.
Do I great -to whom- I lost it? Yes. He was a scumbag.

You'll just *know* when you're ready.
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Kayla
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Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 04:28 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I lost my virginity at 14 too...and I was ready. I'm still with the guy I lost it to. And we're in love. If you're feeling pressure to do it, then you shouldn't. If you don't feel ready, then you shouldn't. But if you're in love, and want to express that love, sex is a great way. I think there's no greater feeling then the physical, emotional and spiritual connection between two people when they really love each other. Our relationship enhanced when we had sex. It made us feel so much more connected.

Personally, I don't believe in waiting for the sake of waiting. There are people who are legally married, and they're married at heart. But people like me and my boyfriend, we're married at heart. We wear rings. We tell each other everything. We act like newlyweds. The only thing we don't have is a marriage certificate. And so what. We're married. And we both know it. And I think that's what matters. No ceremony matters to us.

And I think that's the way it should be. People may think I'm stupid because I'm still only 15, but it doesn't matter. Because I feel it when I'm with him, and he feels the same way. And we've been together for a year. Nothing else matters to us. We're in love.

That's not to say that you shouldn't think about other things. We use condoms. I'm on birth control now. And that's so something, like a pregnancy, doesn't wreak havoc on our relationship. We enjoy being young and in love.
:-)
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Natalie Barratt
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Posted on Friday, October 07, 2005 - 06:20 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hey I have a question: I'm a 19 year old christian. I have just recently made a vow of celibacy (in the sense that I'm chooseing to keep sex and greater sexual activity for my wedding night). It is not something I've been pressured into, it is completely my own personal chioce and I'm happy with it, but I was wondering if anyone could clear something up for me:does mastibation violate that vow? (biblially I mean).
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sjoergei
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Posted on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 06:35 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Natalie, I have no evidence to back me up, but common sense in the Lord our God. We all are created in His image. Had we been meant to have Tommy Hilfiger hangin off our butts, we would've been born with T.H. hangin off our butts. However, we came out the way He meant us to be. In the same respect, He also gave us digits with 3 knuckles, and opposable thumbs. Wonderful thing. Read through the Gospel, and highlight everywhere Jesus talks about sex, substance(alcohol, drugs), and masturbation. Toddlers and infants have been proven in study to masturbate...and they don't even know what it is......they do it cause it feels good. If you want to do it, do it, it's your body, and your most precious earthly gift from God. The other gift God has given us, is orgasm. If you're really questioning still, don't ask people, ask God. People can talk technical stuff, and words, which are just words, and show you a hundred places where the Bible says it's bad. Anyone who's well spoken, can twist words and make the story of Pinnochio mean whatever it is that they want it to mean. Don't live to make others happy. Make God happy. Don't listen to people's version of the rules. Listen to God and enjoy what He has given you, so when you are married, it's not a shot in the dark to try and make "that sex thing" work. God Bless, be safe....stay true to God and yourself....in other words.....jus' keep it real...
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Amy R. Cre
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Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 11:41 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am 22 yrs. old and I waited until I was 18 to have sex. There were A LOT of times when I felt like I was "ready" to have sex....like at parties or when all my friends were doing it. I'm glad I waited. Here are a few questions I asked myself every time I "felt" like I was ready to have sex: Am I ready to be a parent?-it could happen at any time! Am I prepared for rumors that will probly start about me? Do I love this person? If losing your virginity means as much to you as it did to me, you'll act responsibly.
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Nor
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Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 11:22 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think sex is mostly for pleasure.Why else would people be so horny? i personally dont believe in getting married because a ring and a ceremony dont say that youre in love with someone ----and neither does having sex with someone. Sex should positivly be consensual--rape and prostitution are for sexually weird people. and being a slut is degrading. HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE IS YOURE OWN CHOICE!
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aj
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Posted on Sunday, March 05, 2006 - 10:46 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

THANK you! I'll amen to that! Sex is simply to reproduce and nothing more. We as humans conceived things in an understanding that surrounds our society. Compare 18th century England to countries like China or Africa, hell, at one point slaves were used for sexual pleasure at times. And is that really evil? To have sex simply for pleasure? Not at all! Again, another human reaction to the rules that surround us. We tend to always place things in the right and wrong and nothing more. And when there is controversy surrounding a 'bad' subject such as abortion we dismiss it since we cannot rightfully judge it. What what really sets the bounderies between good and evil, right and wrong? That is for GOD and GOD only to decide!
But as for now, as far as im concerned hell must be pretty crowded if we're sinning by sleeping with someone before we're married, underage, or just for the 'fun' of it all.
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ananymous
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Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 12:22 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

well... i lost ma virginity when i was 16. At 1st i was having lots of doubts about it, but i decided to do it i hav no regrets cause i luvd da person i did it with, n besides we still 2getha :-)
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Joe Dick
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Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 03:01 pm:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think that sex is intended to be the sharing of bodily fluids between the ho on the street corner or next door neighour or some skank that one picks up at a bar, but making love is intended to be between husband and wife and wherein she basically lays there counting dots on the ceiling while we do our business.
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Anonymous Joe
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Posted on Monday, March 20, 2006 - 12:04 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Honestly, if some kind of religious stupidity is not a problem for you, and I honestly hope for your sake that it is not (think for yourselves people, letting words guide you because everyone says you should believe it is how we got slavery),
then you have just a few things to consider before consenting to sex:
1) protection - make sure it exists, make sure it works properly. Kids are not what you want.
2) A substantive connection on a non-sexual basis is really preferable, having few partners is a good thing both for those partners and for you, but if you really like the person you're considering it with and you know sex is not the only reason he is with you, there is no reason not to. It is just an expression of your feelings, and it will only bring the two of you closer.
have fun.
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BH
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Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 08:54 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I've been where you are now. Sex is more than a physical act. Its a bonding between a man and women that's much greater than themselves seperately. That's why it hurts so much when we breakup. Copulation is the physical act of sex. Cockroaches, rats and wildabeast along with other animals copulate. We humans have the oppurtunity to experience a divine bond between each other that is so wonderful and lasting. For those who have sex out side of marriage..think of the feeling you have just after the orgasm and the chaos that follows.."Did she miss her period..did the condom to its job..why didn't I wear a condom?..."why is he/she not calling me back..""What happened..we used to be so close?""Why am I sick all the time?"
Ask yourself..."Am I greater than a cockroach, rat or wildabeast?" If not..continue your copulation and be inslaved by the orgasm and miss out on something much greater..That trusting commitment bond of "us" and a real "family".
The rules are there for our safty and good will.
Follow the rules not what "feels good".
Do what's right and enjoy life.


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LOVELY
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Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:52 am:   View Post/Check IP    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think that you should wait until marriage- Its the right thing to do befour GOD the FATHER
You'll see, once you loose ur virginity you'll be so sad, then you'll wish you waited....

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